The Defeat Of An Enemy And Baba’S Lesson On The Enemy Within

My confrontations with Ajit Singh in the department continued to increase.

I had refused to pay the monthly sums he extorted from his subordinates, and so I had become a special target of his animosity.

However I always kept Baba in my heart and returned the compliment of his dislike in like manner.

In the meanwhile in January 1954, the government demoted him due to some of his past misdeeds. He had not, it seems, got away with his illicit practices after all. It was known that he had availed himself of the opportunities afforded a government inspector and profited greatly on bribes from business.

Charges of corruption had followed him to Bhagalpur from his previous posting. The outcome of the investigation was his removal from Bhagalpur to an inferior position at Palanpur in the Punjab. I had nothing to do with all of that, but he believed otherwise, as I found out much later.

Because he held me partly responsible for his setback, he took a leave of absence before reporting to Palanpur and went to Delhi in order to apply all his effort and influence to secure my own demotion.

However, I knew nothing of all this, at the time that I learned about his downfall. All I knew then was that his conduct had finally caught up with him.

Although, he tried to keep this news secret from me, still somehow I came to know of it. I felt happy at his downfall and threw a party for some of my friends to celebrate. I thoroughly enjoyed the news of his misfortune and laughed heartily about it.

About this time, Chandranathji was going home on leave and as Jamalpur was on the way, he detrained there for a day or two for Baba’s darshan. Baba said to him,

“These days Nagina is suffering from mean mentality. Tell him not to give quarter to such feelings in his mind.”

As Chandranathji was not returning to Bhagalpur, he communicated Baba’s instructions to me through a letter. I sought over and over in my mind as to when I had harboured such feelings, but could not locate the answer within. I therefore, took some time off and went to Baba.When I mentioned Chandranathji’s letter to Baba, He said, “Yes! Chandranath is right.

It is your duty to fight your enemy for self-protection, but to celebrate his defeat is the sign of mean mentality.”

I said, “Baba, is it not but natural to feel happy at the defeat of an adversary, so how is it mean?”

Baba replied, ”Enmity is not with a person. Enmity is with the person’s conduct. Therefore to feel happy at the defeat of a person is mean."

Baba’s teachings made a great impression on my mind and I found in them the heighest of ideals and generosity of spirit. Now my contaminated and mean mind began to repent and feel remorse. I saw that I had behaved very badly and unbecomingly with respect to Ajit Singh and his demotion and had also earned a rebuke from Baba. But I felt a little relieved thinking of Baba’s teachings. I prostrated myself at Baba’s feet and returned to Bhagalpur.

It took sometime to wipe out this burden of guilt from my mind. But by Baba’s infinite grace I was able to get free from this mental agony ultimately.