Where is Krishna?

A new scene: Srivas and other devotees are engaged in conversation in front of Advaita’s house. Mukunda sings: Sleep no more! How long will you lie In māyā’s slumber locked, O mind? Who are you? Why have you been born? Forgotten is your own true Self. O mind, unclose your eyes at last And wake yourself from evil dreams; A fool you are to bind yourself So to the passing shows of life, When in you lives Eternal Bliss. Come out of the gloom, O foolish mind! Come out and hail the rising Sun!

Sri Ramakrishna praised the voice of the singer highly.

Another scene: Nimai is staying at home. Srivas comes to visit him. First he meets Sachi. The mother weeps and says: “My son doesn’t attend to his household duties. My eldest son, Viswarupa, has renounced the world, and my heart has ached ever since. Now I fear that Nimai will follow in his steps.”

Nimai arrives. Sachi says to Srivas: “Look at him. Tears run down his cheeks and breast. Tell, tell me how I can free him from these notions.”

At the sight of Srivas, Nimai clings to his feet and says, with eyes full of tears: “Ah me! Revered sir, I have not yet attained devotion to Krishna. Futile is this wretched life! Tell me, sir, where is Krishna? Where shall I find Krishna? Give me the dust of your feet with your blessing, that I may realize the Blue One with the garland of wild-flowers hanging about His neck.”

Sri Ramakrishna looked at M. He was eager to say something but he could not. His voice was choked with emotion; the tears ran down his cheeks; with unmoving eyes he watched Nimai clinging to Srivas’s feet and saying, “Sir, I have not yet attained devotion to Krishna.”

Nimai has opened a school, but he cannot teach the students any longer. Gangadas, his former teacher, comes to persuade him to direct his attention to his worldly duties. He says to Srivas: “Listen, Srivas! We are brahmins, too, and devoted to the worship of Vishnu. But you people are ruining Nimai’s worldly prospects.”

MASTER (to M.): “That is the advice of the worldly-wise: Do ’this’ as well as ’that’. When the worldly man teaches spirituality he always advises a compromise between the world and God.”

M: “Yes, sir. That is true.”

Gangadas continues his argument with Nimai. He says: “Nimai, undoubtedly you are versed in the scriptures. Reason with me. Explain to me if any other duty is superior to worldly duties. You are a householder. Why disregard the duties of a householder and follow others’ duties?”

MASTER (to M.): “Did you notice? He’s trying to persuade Nimai to make a compromise.”

M: “Yes, sir.”

Nimai says to Gangadas: “I am not wilfully indifferent to a householder’s duties. On the contrary, it is my desire to hold to all sides. But, revered sir, I don’t know what it is that draws me on. I don’t know what to do. I want to cling to the shore but I cannot. My soul wanders away. I am helpless. My soul constantly wants to plunge headlong into the boundless Ocean.”

MASTER: “Ah me!”

The scene changes: Nityananda has arrived at Navadvip. After a search he meets Nimai, who, in turn, has been seeking him. When they meet, Nimai says to him: “Blessed is my life! Fulfilled is my dream! You visited me in a dream and then disappeared.” The Master said in a voice choked with emotion, “Nimai said he had seen him in a dream.”

Nimai is in an ecstatic mood and becomes engaged in conversation with Advaita, Srivas, Haridas, and other devotees. Nitai sings a song suited to Nimai’s mood: Where is Krishna? Where is my Krishna?

He is not in the grove, dear friends.

Give me Krishna! Bring me my Krishna! Radha’s heart knows naught but Him.

At this song Sri Ramakrishna went into samādhi. He remained in that state a long time. The orchestra played on. Gradually his mind came down to the relative plane. In the mean time a young man of Khardaha, born in the holy family of Nityananda, had entered the box. He was standing behind the Master’s chair. Sri Ramakrishna was filled with delight at the sight of him. He held his hand and talked to him affectionately.

Every now and then he said: “Please sit down here. Your very presence awakens my spiritual feeling.” He played tenderly with the young man’s hands and lovingly stroked his face. After he had left, Sri Ramakrishna said to M.: “He is a great scholar. His father is a great devotee of God. When I go to Khardaha to visit Syamasundar, the father entertains me with sacred offerings such as one cannot buy even for a hundred rupees. This young man has good traits. A little shaking will awaken his inner spirit. At the sight of him my spiritual mood is aroused. I should have been overwhelmed with ecstasy if he had stayed here a little longer.”

The curtain rises: Nityananda is walking in a procession on the public road with his companions, chanting the name of Hari. He meets two ruffians, Jagai and Madhai, who are sworn enemies of all religious people. Madhai strikes Nitai with a piece of broken pottery. Nitai is hurt and bleeds profusely, but he pays no heed, inebriated as he is with the love of God.

Sri Ramakrishna was in an ecstatic mood. Nitai embraces both Jagai and Madhai, and sings a song to the two ruffians: Jagai! Madhai! Oh, come and dance, Chanting Hari’s name with fervour! What does it matter that you struck me? Dance, dear friends, in Hari’s name! Sing the name of our Beloved:

He will embrace you in love’s rapture! Let the heavens resound with His name! You have not tasted true emotion: Weep as you chant the name of Hari, And you will see the Moon of your soul. Hari’s name would I lovingly give you; Nitai calls you to share His love. Nimai speaks to Sachi of his desire to enter the monastic life. His mother faints and falls to the ground.

At this point many in the audience burst into tears. Sri Ramakrishna remained still and looked intently at the stage. A single tear appeared in the corner of each eye. The performance was over.

Sri Ramakrishna was about to enter a carriage. A devotee asked him how he had enjoyed the play. The Master said with a smile, “I found the representation the same as the real.”

The carriage proceeded toward Mahendra’s mill. Suddenly, Sri Ramakrishna went into an ecstatic mood and murmured to himself in loving tones: “O Krishna! O Krishna! Krishna is knowledge! Krishna is soul! Krishna is mind! Krishna is life! Krishna is body!” He continued: “O Govinda, Thou art my life! Thou art my soul!”

The carriage reached the mill. Mahendra fed the Master tenderly with various dishes. M. sat by his side. Affectionately he said to M., “Here, eat a little.” He put some sweets in his hands.

With Mahendra and a few other devotees, Sri Ramakrishna left in the carriage for the Dakshineswar temple garden. The Master was in a happy mood. He sang a song about Gaurānga and Nitai. M. sang with him:

Gaur and Nitai, ye blessed brothers! I have heard how kind you are, And therefore I have come to you. . .

The Master and Mahendra talked about the latter’s intended pilgrimage.

MASTER (smiling): “The divine love in you is barely a sprout now. Why should you let it wither? But come back very soon. Many a time I have thought of visiting your place. At last I have done it. I am so happy.”

MAHENDRA: “My life is indeed blessed, sir.”

MASTER: “You were already blessed. Your father is also a good man. I saw him the other day. He has faith in the Adhyātma Rāmāyana.”

MAHENDRA: “Please bless me that I may have love for God.”

MASTER: “You are generous and artless. One cannot realize God without sincerity and simplicity. God is far, far away from the crooked heart.” Near Syambazar, Mahendra bade the Master good-bye, and the carriage continued on its way.