A Devotee's Dream

Meditation on God with form

How are you getting along with your meditation nowadays? What aspect of God appeals to your mind - with form or without form?"

M: “Sir, now I can’t fix my mind on God with form. On the other hand, I can’t concentrate steadily on God without form.”

M: “Do you mean to suggest that one should meditate on clay images?”

M: “Even so, one must think of hands, feet, and the other parts of body. But again, I realize that the mind cannot be concentrated unless one meditates, in the beginning, on God with form. You have told me so. Well, God can easily assume different forms. May one meditate on the form of one’s own mother?”

She is indeed an embodiment of M. sat in silence. After a few minutes he asked the Master: “What does one feel while thinking of God without form? Isn’t it possible to describe it?” After some reflection, the Master said, “Do you know what it is like?” He remained silent a moment and then said a few words to M. about one’s experiences at the time of the vision of God with and without form.

Brahman and Divine Incarnations

The jnanis think of God without form. They don’t accept the Divine Incarnation.

Praising Sri Krishna, Arjuna said, ‘Thou art Brahman Absolute.’ Sri Krishna replied, ‘Follow Me, and you will know whether or not I am Brahman Absolute.’ So saying, Sri Krishna led Arjuna to a certain place and asked him what he saw there. ‘I see a huge tree,’ said Arjuna, ‘and on it I notice fruits hanging like clusters of blackberries.’

Then Krishna said to Arjuna, ‘Come nearer and you will find that these are not clusters of blackberries, but clusters of innumerable Krishnas like Me, hanging from the tree.’ In other words, Divine Incarnations without number appear and disappear on the tree of the Absolute Brahman.

“Kavirdas was strongly inclined to the formless God. At the mention of Krishna’s name he would say: ‘Why should I worship Him? The gopis would clap their hands while He performed a monkey dance.’ (With a smile) But I accept God with form when I am in the company of people who believe in that ideal, and I also agree with those who believe in the formless God.”

M. (smiling): “You are as infinite as He of whom we have been talking. Truly, no one can fathom your depth.”

MASTER (smiling): “Ah! I see you have found it out. Let me tell you one thing. One should follow various paths. One should practise each creed for a time. In a game of satrancha a piece can’t reach the centre square until it completes the circle; but once in the square it can’t be overtaken by any other piece.”

M: “That is true, sir.”

MASTER: “There are two classes of. yogis: the bahudakas and the kutichakas. The bahudakas roam about visiting various holy places and have not yet found peace of mind. But the kutichakas, having visited all the sacred places, have quieted their minds. Feeling serene and peaceful, they settle down in one place and no longer move about. In that one place they are happy; they don’t feel the need of going to any sacred place. If one of them ever visits a place of pilgrimage, it is only for the purpose of new inspiration.

“I had to practise each religion for a time - Hinduism, Islam, Christianity. Furthermore, I followed the paths of the Saktas, Vaishnavas, and Vedantists. I realized that there is only one God toward whom all are travelling; but the paths are different. 142"While visiting the holy places, I would sometimes suffer great agony. Once I went with Mathur to Raja Babu’s drawing-room in Benares.

I found that they talked there only of worldly matters - money, real estate, and the like. At this I burst into tears. I said to the Divine Mother, weeping: ‘Mother! Where hast Thou brought me? I was much better off at Dakshineswar.’ In Allahabad I noticed the same things that I saw elsewhere - the same ponds, the same grass, the same trees, the same tamarind-leaves.

Master’s ecstasy at Vrindāvan

“But one undoubtedly finds inspiration in a holy place. I accompanied Mathur Babu to Vrindāvan. Hriday and the ladies of Mathur’s family were in our party. No sooner did I see the Kaliyadaman Ghat than a divine emotion surged up within me. I was completely overwhelmed. Hriday used to bathe me there as if I were a small child.

In the dusk I would walk on the bank of the Jamuna when the cattle returned along the sandy banks from their pastures. At the very sight of those cows the thought of Krishna would flash in my mind. I would run along like a madman, crying: ‘Oh, where is Krishna? Where is my Krishna?’

“I went to Syamakunda and Radhakunda in a palanquin and got out to visit the holy Mount Govardhan. At the very sight of the mount I was overpowered with divine emotion and ran to the top. I lost all consciousness of the world around me. The residents of the place helped me to come down.

On my way to the sacred pools of Syamakunda and Radhakunda, when I saw the meadows, the trees, the shrubs, the birds, and the deer, I was overcome with ecstasy. My clothes became wet with tears. I said: ‘O Krishna! Everything here is as it was in the olden days. You alone are absent.’ Seated inside the palanquin I lost all power of speech. Hriday followed the palanquin. He had warned the bearers to be careful about me.

Gangamayi became very fond of me in Vrindāvan. She was an old woman who lived all alone in a hut near the Nidhuvan. Referring to my spiritual condition and ecstasy, she said, ‘He is the very embodiment of Radha.’ She addressed me as ‘Dulali’. When with her, I used to forget my food and drink, my bath, and all thought of going home. On some days Hriday used to bring food from home and feed me. Gangamayi also would serve me with food prepared by her own hands.

“Gangamayi used to experience trances. At such times a great crowd would come to see her. One day, in a state of ecstasy, she climbed on Hriday’s shoulders.

“I didn’t want to leave her and return to Calcutta. Everything was arranged for me to stay with her. I was to eat double-boiled rice, and we were to have our beds on either side of the cottage. All the arrangements had been made, when Hriday said: ‘You have such a weak stomach. Who will look after you?’ ‘Why,’ said Gangamayi, ‘I shall look after him. I’ll nurse him.’

As Hriday dragged me by one hand and she by the other, I remembered my mother, who was then living alone here in the nahabat of temple garden. I found it impossible to stay away from her, and said to Gangamayi, ‘No, I must go.’ I loved the atmosphere of Vrindāvan.”

About 11am the Master took his meal, the offerings from temple of Kāli. After taking his noonday rest he resumed his conversation with the devotees. Every now and then he uttered the holy word “Om” or repeated the sacred names of the deities. After sunset the evening worship was performed in the temples. Since it was the day of Vijaya, the devotees first saluted the Divine Mother and then took the dust of the Master’s feet.

Tuesday, October 24,1882

It was 4pm. The Master was standing near the shelf where the food was kept, when Balaram and M. arrived from Calcutta and saluted him.

Sri Ramakrishna said to them with a smile: “I was going to take some sweets from the shelf, but no sooner did I put my hand on them than a lizard dropped on my body. At once I removed my hand. (All laugh.) " Oh, yes! One should observe all these things. You see, Rakhal is ill, and my limbs ache too. Do you know what’s the matter? This morning as I was leaving my bed I saw a certain person, whom I took for Rakhal.

(All laugh.)

Oh, yes! Physical features should be studied. The other day Narendra brought one of his friends, a man with only one good eye, though the other eye was not totally blind. I said to myself, ‘What is this trouble that Narendra has brought with him?’

“A certain person comes here, but I can’t eat any food that he brings. I can’t utter a word in his presence, because he tells lies.

Sometimes he stays here 2 or 3 days without going to his office. Can you guess his purpose? It is that I should recommend him to someone for a job somewhere else. He works in an office at a salary of 20 rupees and earns another 20 by writing false bills.

“Balaram comes from a family of devout Vaishnavas. His father, now an old man, is a pious devotee. He has a tuft of hair on his head, a rosary of tulsi beads round his neck, and a string of beads in his hand. He devotes his time to the repetition of God’s name.

He owns much property in Orissa and has built temples to Radha-Krishna in Kothar, Vrindāvan, and other places, establishing free guest-houses as well.

(To Balaram) “A certain person came here the other day. I understand he is the slave of that black hag of a wife. Why is it that people do not see God? It is because of the barrier of ‘woman and gold’. How impudent he was to say to you the other day, ‘A paramahamsa came to my father, who fed him with chicken curry!’ “In my present of my mind I can eat a little fish soup if it has been offered to the Divine Mother beforehand. I can’t eat any meat, even if it is offered to the Divine Mother; but I taste it with the end of my finger lest She should be angry. (Laughter.) “Well, can you explain this state of my mind? Once I was going from Burdwan to Kamarpukur in a bullock-cart, when a great storm arose. Some people gathered near the cart. My companions said they were robbers. So I began to repeat the names of 144God, calling sometimes on Kāli, sometimes on Rama, sometimes on Hanuman. What do you think of that?”

Was the Master hinting that God is one but is addressed differently by different sects?

MASTER (to Balaram): “Maya is nothing but ‘woman and gold’. A man living in its midst gradually loses his spiritual alertness. He thinks all is well with him. The scavenger carries a tub of night-soil on his head, and in course of time loses his repulsion to it.

One gradually acquires love of God through the practice of chanting God’s name and glories. (To M.) One should not be ashamed of chanting God’s holy name. As the saying goes, ‘One does not succeed so long as one has these three: shame, hatred, and fear.’

“At Kamarpukur they sing kirtan very well. accompaniment of drums. The devotional music is sung to the (To Balaram) “Have you installed any image at Vrindāvan?” BALARAM: “Yes, sir. We have a grove where Krishna is worshipped.”