Ceremonies and Respects

HE THAT is only real, had need have exceeding great parts of virtue; as the stone had need to be rich, that is set without foil.

But if a man mark it well, it is, in praise and commendation of men, as it is in gettings and gains: for the proverb is true, That light gains make heavy purses; for light gains come thick, whereas great, come but now and then. So it is true, that small matters win great commendation, because they are continually in use and in note: whereas the occasion of any great virtue, cometh but on festivals.

Therefore it doth much add to a man’s reputation, and is (as Queen Isabella said) like perpetual letters commendatory, to have good forms. To attain them, it almost sufficeth not to despise them; for so shall a man observe them in others; and let him trust himself with the rest.

If he labors too much to express them, he shall lose their grace; which is to be natural and unaffected.

Some men’s behavior is like a verse – every syllable is measured.

How can a man comprehend great matters that breaks his mind too much, to small observations?

Not to use ceremonies at all, is to teach others not to use them again; and so diminisheth respect to himself; especially they be not to be omitted, to strangers and formal natures; but the dwelling upon them, and exalting them above the moon, is not only tedious, but doth diminish the faith and credit of him that speaks.

There is a kind of conveying, of effectual and imprinting passages amongst compliments, which is of singular use, if a man can hit upon it. Amongst a man’s peers, a man shall be sure of familiarity.

Therefore it is good, a little to keep state. Amongst a man’s inferiors one shall be sure of reverence; and therefore it is good, a little to be familiar. He that is too much in anything, so that he giveth another occasion of satiety, maketh himself cheap.

To apply one’s self to others, is good; so it be with demonstration, that a man doth it upon regard, and not upon facility.

It is a good precept generally, in seconding another, yet to add somewhat of one’s own: as if you will grant his opinion, let it be with some distinction; if you will follow his motion, let it be with condition; if you allow his counsel, let it be with alleging further reason. Men had need beware, how they be too perfect in compliments; for be they never so sufficient otherwise, their enviers will be sure to give them that attribute, to the disadvantage of their greater virtues.

It is loss also in business, to be too full of respects, or to be curious, in observing times and opportunities.

Solomon said, He that considereth the wind, shall not sow, and he that looketh to the clouds, shall not reap. A wise man will make more opportunities, than he finds. Men’s behavior should be, like their apparel, not too strait or point device, but free for exercise or motion.

Praise

PRAISE is the reflection of virtue. But it is as the glass or body, which gives the reflection.

If it be from the common people, it is commonly false and rather follows vain than virtuous persons. The common people do not understand many excellent virtues.

The lowest virtues draw praise from them. The middle virtues astonish them. But they cannot perceive the highest virtues at all.

But shows, and species virtutibus similes, serve best with them.

Fame is like a river, that bears up things light and swoln, and drowns things weighty and solid.

But if persons of quality and judgment concur, then it is (as the Scripture saith) nomen bonum instar unguenti fragrantis. It fireth all round about, and will not easily away.

For the odors of ointments are more durable, than those of flowers. There be so many false points of praise, that a man may justly hold it a suspect. Some praises proceed merely of flattery; and if he be an ordinary flatterer, he will have certain common attributes, which may serve every man; if he be a cunning flatterer, he will follow the archflatterer, which is a man’s self; and wherein a man thinketh best of himself, therein the flatterer will uphold him most: but if he be an impudent flatterer, look wherein a man is conscious to himself, that he is most defective, and is most out of countenance in himself, that will the flatterer entitle him to perforce, spreta conscientia.

Some praises come of good wishes and respects, which is a form due, in civility, to kings and great persons, laudando praecipere, when by telling men what they are, they represent to them, what they should be.

Some men are praised maliciously to hurt them by stirring envy and jealousy towards them.

The Greeks had a proverb “he that was praised to his hurt, should have a push rise on his nose”.

We say “a blister will rise on one’s tongue, that tells a lie”.

Moderate non-vulgar praise, used with opportunity, is that which doth the good.

Solomon said: “He that praiseth his friend aloud, rising early, it shall be to him no better than a curse”.

Too much magnifying of man or matter, doth irritate contradiction, and procure envy and scorn. To praise a man’s self, cannot be decent, except it be in rare cases; but to praise a man’s office or profession, he may do it with good grace, and with a kind of magnanimity.

The cardinals of Rome, which are theologues, and friars, and Schoolmen, have a phrase of notable contempt and scorn towards civil business: for they call all temporal business of wars, embassages, judicature, and other employments, sbirrerie, which is under-sheriffries; as if they were but matters, for under-sheriffs and catchpoles: though many times those under-sheriffries do more good, than their high speculations.

St. Paul, when he boasts of himself, he doth oft interlace, I speak like a fool; but speaking of his calling, he saith, magnificabo apostolatum meum.