Message of an unknown Dada

I am in Benares today for the start of a three-day spiritual festival led by the venerable Dada Shivananda.

In the absence of Baba, Shivanandaji is serving as His representative, and his discourses will channel Baba’s vibration. About 10.000 Margis are attending, and the energy is high.

It is also in this ancient spiritual city that we have our training centers for creating new acharyas.

Our philosophy argues against the superstitious idol worship of Hinduism, but I agree with the Hindus that Benares has a singular atmosphere suitable for spiritual practices.

Hindus believe that a bath in the Ganges River purifies them of sin, and causes them to rise to heaven at the time of death.

We share no such belief but that does not stop us from enjoying meditation near the river bank, sometimes within smelling range of the cremation pyres. Surely that smell reminds us how precious every living moment is and how futile it is to fear death.

Though my experience in Ananda Nagar has freed me from most of my doubts, I still hesitate to pass over the threshold into a new life. If only I could have met Baba.

Two days later. Today was Dada Shivananda’s culminating discourse. When he concluded his talk a wave rolled through us all, generating sighs, shouts, shivering and other occult symptoms. A thrill shook the heart region of my chest and left me awed.

Afterward, the Margis dispersed—except one man who remained absorbed for several hours in deep meditation, indifferent to the brutally hot sun. Eventually another Margi held an umbrella over the man’s head, but it was too late. After he came out of his trance the man suffGI" ed from sunstroke, though he didn’t seem to care.

A few minutes after the discourse, while I was still strongly feeling its effect, an unknown Dada approached me and asked, “Why have you come to India?”

“I had two reasons. One was to meet Baba. So far that hasn’t been possible. Second, after meeting Him I hoped to decide whether or not I should go for wholetimer training.”

“You could not do the first. Why not go ahead with the second and start the training?” He did not wait for my reply, and quietly walked away. It was in this moment that I decided to at least visit the training center.

Whether I will stay or not I don’t know.

Benares training center. As I passed through the doorway one thought and one thought alone grabbed me and echoed through my mind: “I am home! At last I’ve come home!”

So it’s fixed. From today my life’s direction is clear.

The training center is a three-room building near the hub of the city. In one room the thirty-five trainees study, eat and sleep. The second room is for group meditation and class. Living conditions are extremely cramped. Many of us also sleep in the meditation room and outside. For bedding, each person has a single blanket spread directly on the cement floor. A third small room is for the two trainers. The “kitchen” is outside: a mud oven and an area of beaten earth for cutting vegetables and rolling flat-breads. There is no running water. The well in the courtyard is used for drawing water for all purposes—cooking, cleaning, bathing and toilet functions. The toilets are deep-dug, i.e. without flush system: one outhouse for all the trainees, while the other inside the house is generally used only by the trainers. The courtyard is a mere twelve by nine meters.

The sisters’ training center is in some other section of Benares. One of our trainers visits them daily to give classes.

Guidelines

Today I was handed a list of the conducts rules that we must follow as monks, such as:

• Practice meditation at least four times daily. One should not eat without having first done meditation.

• Practice asanas twice daily.

• Do not sleep on a soft bed.

• Leave all sorts of luxuries.

• Observe fasting at least four times every month. Fast without food or water from sunrise to sunrise on the prescribed days.

• Do not consume meat, fish, eggs, onion, garlic, mushroom, caffeinated beverages such as tea and coffee, cocoa, alcohol, cigarettes or other intoxicants.

• Silence should be maintained at least thirty minutes daily. During this time one should not read, write or similarly divert the mind.

• After completing the initial study of Ananda Marga philosophy, one should also try to study all other philosophies.

• One should practice forgiveness and magnanimity of mind.

• Keep aloof from criticizing, condemning or mudslinging. Avoid all sorts of groupism. Do not criticize any country.

• Keep free from hatred, anger and vanity—including vanity of culture.

• By becoming an ideal person, inspire others to become good.

• Attract others by your sacrificing nature.

• Try to remove the pain of others, and do not talk of your own trouble.

• Accept all sufferings as rewards.

…and literally hundreds more. Some of them are for all Margis, others only for renunciates.

For me they are not rules but guidelines for gradually achieving a saintly

life.

A different training than expected

Food is simple, but due to the cooking technique and lack of nutritional balance I am again thoroughly ill. The water is also surely unsuitable for me. Of course it doesn’t help that this is the hottest time of the year. We are eating basically only disk-shaped flat breads, skinless beans, white rice, and green chilies which burn my mouth. The cooking duty changes daily among the trainees. Most of them are impatient with the large amount of work involved in preparation, so they usually make the flat breads very thick and do not cook them completely, and frequently undercook the beans also. Sometimes we re¬ ceive “drumsticks” in our food collection from generous though poor vegetable venders. They are called drumsticks because they are mostly fiber. They are usually cooked together with the beans. We chew them to get what we can out of them, then spit them out. Besides the occasional potatoes and eggplants, we do not see other vegetables, and never any fruits, except lemon water and one small banana per trainee the morning after fasting. Because we fast without food or water four days per month, we each receive four bananas per month.

I am trying to overcome my continuous diarrhea by cleaning out my system. I’m staying away from rice and, on the suggestion of several Indian trainees, eating large amounts of chilies. But it just seems to get worse. 17

When it rains we have to sleep on our sides because there is not enough space inside for all of us to sleep on our backs.

I’m afraid that my poor health and the difficult living conditions are affecting my state of mind. I’m so wrapped up in my own personal problems that I’m unable to relate nicely to the other trainees.

Our daily routine consists of meditation and kiirtan four times, yoga asanas twice, morning and afternoon classes, cooking and cleaning duties, and self-study. At present I am trying to memorize about 150 conduct rules, learn Prout 18 , memorize seventeen Sanskrit sayings which define the essence of Prout, and learn some basic Sanskrit and Bengali. This is proving difficult because my body is so weak that I’m usually oh the verge of sleep, and my knees are aching from sitting all day on the floor. There is only one chair in the classroom, and throughout the day a competition goes on to sit in it. I rarely win.