Baba Orders Me To File And Appeal

Amongst my departmental friends sympathizers was another disciple of Baba. I asked him where I slipped which resulted in this demotion.

In the evening, he went to Baba’s darshan and asked it to Baba. Baba said to him, “Ask him to file an appeal.”

Baba had written in his letter of January 4, 1955 that I should apply to the competent authority.

Some Margii brothers were also pressing me to file an appeal. I was wondering who was the competent authority in this case? After looking at the series of events I came to the conclusion that Baba alone was the competent authority.

Once I had offered this post before him, so where was my right to appeal? I was thinking whether a thing given could be begged back.

While I was thus engaged in deliberation of this nature the pressure on me to appeal began to grow. I placed my thoughts before one of my disciple brothers and he mentioned it to Baba.

That day in the evening when I went to Baba, after my pranam Baba asked:

“Why are you not filing an appeal?”

I asked in a subdued tone whether I had any right to appeal.

Baba said, “I know everything. This is my order that you should file an appeal.”

Now that it was Baba’s order, there was no alternative left for me. Finally I prepared the draft of an appeal and took it to Baba for approval. Baba looked at it and said it was all right. He asked me to despatch it and then to follow it up like an ordinary person, at every office.

I requested Baba to exempt me from the effort of pursuing it through the offices. I said that so far I had never asked anything for myself from my superiors.

I was not accustomed to do this and would not be able to do it now.

But Baba was adamant. He said, “It is my order.”

I had to keep quiet as it went against the grain to disobey him. I sent the appeal and after a week I set out to push the issue through the various offices.

Before leaving Jamalpur that evening I went for Baba’s darshan and I told Baba that I was leaving for Patna and Delhi the next day. It was possible that I might be requested to stay in Patna for some time, and I would start for Delhi after my appeal has been moved up from there.

Baba said:

“That is alright. Go and only come back with the orders.“I told Baba that it was not within my powers to get the orders issued, but I will try as far as possibas per your instruction.

Baba said:

“You would not return unless you have talked to me”.

I said:

“Kindly let me know the number of the telephone where I could contact you.”

Baba laughed and asked, “So you would ask me on telephone?”

I enquired, “How else could I do so?”

Baba replied, “Ask me in meditation”.

I was somewhat surprised and enquired, “Is it was possible to talk to you during meditation?”

He said, “Yes, you will get my voice in the same manner as you get it on the phone”.

BABA ORDERS ME TO PATNA AND DELHI TO PURSUE MY APPEAL

The next day I started for Patna and in Patna I stayed with one of my colleagues. While staying there I began to try so that my appeal may be sent to Delhi at an early date. It took more than a weak for my appeal to move out of Patna to Delhi.

When my appeal was despatched to Delhi, I started for Delhi. After reaching there I arranged for my stay in one of the hotel of old Delhi and thereafter began to move up and down to the officers and political bosses to plead for a favourable response to my appeal. But I got discouragement from every quarter.

One of the political leaders was a companion from my college days and a friend. But even from him I got no ray of hope. In sheer despair I returned to my hotel.

As I approached the door of my room one of the hotel waiters passed me with a plate of fried meat in one hand and a glass in the other. He had bottles of liquor and soda under both arms. I caught the pleasant aroma of fried meat and I looked at the bearer.

As I looked at the plates my old love for meat revived and I began to wonder how have I become involved with so many negative restrictions about food and drink.

As I entered my room I decided to throw all these restrictions overboard and decided to order meat, drink and cigarettes for myself also. I pressed the button to call the room attendant. My mind was quite determined and it would certainly force me to act as per its thoughts. After a little while the attendant came to the room.

Although I had in mind to order meat, drink and cigarettes, yet I do not know how instead I enquired from him about the departure time of the train for Patna? He informed me that it left at five. It was about three-thirty then. I told him to pack up my luggage and I was going back to Patna.

The attendant asked many leading and prompting questions, but I do not know what happened to my memory at that time, I could simply not express what was in my mind.

He reminded me that I had intended to stay for a full month and it was only three days since I came and I was already talking of leaving. He enquired whether some emergency occurred?.

I said, “Yes it was like that. Please pack quickly!”The attendant said, “Sir, you have a hundred restrictions on your food and on the way you will not get vegetables without onions and garlic. I shall, therefore, see if there is some food fit for you in the hotel, so that you may take your food here.

While you have your lunch I shall pack up your luggage”.

Thus saying he rushed and brought for me some chapatis and vegetables without onion or garlic. I started eating as if spell-bound and the attendant began to pack up my luggage. By the time I had finished eating, he had packed up my things and brought my hotel bill. I paid the bill and he ordered a taxi for me.

Then I paid him a two rupees tip.

He asked me whether I remembered everything I had brought and had I left anything behind? He was indeed very helpful. I had not even checked up what he had packed.

Then he himself enquired. “Sir, there will not be any reservation with you, will it then be possible for you to board the train? If you like I shall got to the station with you and manage some berth for you, so that you may spend the journey in rest.”

I thought that perhaps, he was not satisfied with the tip and therefore wanted to go up to the station. I thought over the matter and decided that he would be a useful assistance at the station and therefore asked him to accompany me up to the station.

At Delhi station as he took down my luggage he enquired about the class that I would travel. I replied that I would travel by Inter Class. He asked me to go and purchase the ticket while he would go to find some berth for me so that I could lie on it.

He, therefore, lifted up my luggage without calling a coolie and walked off towards the train.

When I came back with the ticked and reached the Inter-Class compartment I found that the attendant was eagerly waiting for me.

He said, “Sir, I have found a berth for you and I have spread your bedding on it.

I have also taken out clothes for changing during the journey.”

He asked me to go into the bathroom and change and occupy the berth otherwise if someone comes and sits here it would be difficult to remove him. I did as he suggested and changed my clothes. He put my clothes in the suitcase and then I occupied my seat. Meanwhile he rushed and brought a magazine for my reading during the journey. He gave it to me and said, “Sir, read it during your journey.” Really, after I left the hotel things were happening almost automatically. It appeared that this bearer was some old family assistant of ours who knew every habit of mine so thoroughly. He persuaded me to lie down, which I did. Before lying down I have him a further tip of five rupees, which he accepted after long persuasion. He stood in the compartment as long as the train did not start. When the train started he saluted me and left.

For sometime I turned the pages of the magazine and then began to read it.

Thus it was about nine o’clock and I went to bed. Before going to bed I did not even reflect on the course of the events as they were taking place. On the berth near me, there was some gentleman from Gujarat. In the morning after sunrise he awakened me and informed me that if I was interested in taking tea then this was the proper place, otherwise the next such station would only come at 9 am.

I requested that gentleman to order tea for me also and I went into the bathroom with my toothbrush for a wash.As I was taking tea I suddenly recalled that I had pushed the button to call the bearer for bringing me meat, drink and cigarettes and how thereafter I was here almost involuntarily. I thought and thought but got no answer to this riddle. My mind was not so weak as to forget such recent things, but I got no solution or clue to the puzzle. At last the train reached Patna.

At first I thought that I should stay in Patna for sometime and then go to Jamalpur. But finally I decided to get the ticket extended to Jamalpur and I reached Jamalpur at about one thirty in the night. I located an empty bed in the outer room of Bindeshwariji’s veranda, spread my bedding on it and went to sleep.

I was late in rising in the morning and therefore could not go to Baba’s darshan, but that evening as I reached His residence and did my pranam, Baba enquired: “How did you find Delhi? like a snake or scorpion?” I got up and told Baba, “Delhi was so bad, why did You send me there?” Baba said, “You took this demotion as if nothing has happened to you.” I said: “Baba all this is due to the grace of your Lotus Feet.” Thereafter Baba started for His walk and I accompanied Him, anxious to find an opportunity to ask Baba how I left the Delhi hotel? But Baba was talking about something or the other and I was not getting an opportunity to ask Him. Then Baba enquired, “Nagina, did you ever ride a horse?” I replied in the affirmative. Baba said, “If the horse is a strong and fast one and the rider lets go the reins after spurring him on, what will happen?” I replied, “Baba, both the horse and the rider will fall.” Baba then asked, “If the horse is running fast and you suddenly pull the reins?” I replied, “In this circumstance also the horse and the rider both will fall.” Then Baba enquired, “Who is then to be blamed? The rider or the horse?” I said, “Baba, the fault is with the rider who does not know the correct use of the reins”. At this Baba said, “If you had ordered meat, drink and cigarettes in the hotel, what was the need of my presence? I left you for a minute and you were tottering in just a moment”. I enquired most innocently: “Baba, can this happen?” “Baba replied: “Yes!” and then he kept quiet.

After he had walked some more distance, Baba said, “Nagina, there is a story with a moral. Listen!

When Draopadii was being stripped she was protecting her garments with one hand and with the other she was pulling the garments to herself asking for justice fromall these present in the hall.

At that time Krsna was sitting in Dwaraka with His wife. His wife reminded him that his sister was being insulted in Hastinapur and He was sitting there. Krsna kept quiet, he did not reply. When Draopadii got no aid from those present in the meeting, she began to cry ‘Krsna? Krsna!’ Even now both her hands were clutching the garments.

Again the wife of Krsna reminded Him as to what sort of brother he was that in the presence of all in the hall, his sister was being stripped naked and He was sitting silently here. This time Krsna said, ‘It appears that I shall have to go’.

Meanwhile Dushasan gave a pull and Draopadii thought that her garments was about to fall from her waist, although actually it was no so, she just imagined it.

She was already perplexed and lost. Now finding herself quite helpless she raised both her hands in the spirit of self-surrender and she began to cry, ‘Krsna! Krsna!’ piteously.

At this juncture the miracle of the infinite growth of the garment began to take place.

When Draopadii fully surrendered the responsibility fell fully on Krishna.”

Thus I got the reply to all my questions without asking them.

I then asked Baba, “This means where the disciple ends there the guru begins?”

Baba said, “Yes, when a person loses confidence in his own power and intellect and when he surrenders himself fully before God, then the responsibility shifts to the Almighty.”

By then Baba had reached almost to the middle of the field. Here Baba said so many other things about Delhi.