ASTHANAJI

During the rainy season in 1954, I had to go to Bhagalpur to attend a departmental conference.

After the meeting, my boss, Asthanaji asked us to stay for tea.

Amongst those present, one remarked that Nagina might not take tea as he is doing some special kind of meditation these days and there is a lot of change in his food habits.

At these remarks, everyone started to look at me and began to ask questions about my sadhana. Everyone had an objection as to why should sadhana have anything to do with one’s food habits. Everyone was fond of eating and therefore my answers were not acceptable to them.

Amongst my colleagues, there was one pandit who was an idol worshipper and given to karmakand (ritualistic worship).

He was a vegetarian, but he was extremely fond of sweet dishes.

He used to treat all his subordinates as his religious hosts and would relish with significant joy all kinds of rich sweet preparations at their expense.

Sometimes even while taking his food, he would go the latrine to lighten himself. When the topic of sadhana was being discussed, he jumped into the discussion in the ancient posture of a religious debate and began to sing the praises of idol worship.

I told him that I was not well versed in the scriptures, but as far as common sense prevailed I contradicted this theory by repeating arguments which I picked up from Baba’s conversations from time to time.

As my approach was logical, all present agreed with it in their heart of hearts; but in order to incite the pandit to further discussion, they outwardly supported the pandit’s statements. Panditji was also garrulous mostly to please our boss, Shri Asthanaji. All realised this. Shri Asthanaji also recognised this fact and therefore he told me that I was defeated and thus he pumped up the pandit further.

The pandit in his excitement began to criticize yoga sadhana. I therefore thought of silencing him.

I said, ”Panditji, it is but natural that you do not like yoga sadhana as it would mean you being compelled to follow yama and niyama (the ten principles of morality)”. As the reply was sharp he kept quiet. However, our boss wanted to appease the pandit, therefore he said that he agreed with panditji that one must eat, drink and be merry in this world and also remember God from time to time. He said that he disapproved of total dedication to God.

Almost unwillingly I said, “Sir, after hearing our talk you are thinking in your mind to seek an opportunity to ask me to take you to the person where I learnt my sadhana, but just outwardly you are supporting the pandit’s statement”.

Everyone laughed heartily at this remark of mine. All were about to leave now and I also left after this remark. The next day everyone had to come back to the office.

I spent the night with Shri Chandranathji who was responsible for taking me to Baba for initiation. The train next morning was to leave very early and I missed it.

After breakfast, I rang up Shjri Asthanaji and informed him about my missing the train and the consequent inability to reach my office. I requested him either to sanction me a day’s leave or to give me some office work for the day, so that I may utilize my time.

He told me that it was very good that I could not go as he had some work with me, and asked me to come to the office.

I reached Asthanaji’s office at about nine and found that he was waiting for me.

After the exchange of greetings, he asked me to be seated and enquired as to how yesterday I could know what was in his mind. I could not catch the point and asked him as to what he was the referring. He then told me that he began to take interest in my arguments when I was discussing with panditji and in actual fact he wanted to ask me where to learn yoga sadhana. I told him that I was no mind reader and I only said spontaneously what came to my mind about him.

That day he repeated again and again that he was quite keen to learn yoga sadhana and he was ready to do everything for this. I told him that I was unable to commit anything without Baba’s prior permission.

He was ready for this.

Jamalpur was on my route to my office and therefore, I finished my office work in the afternoon and came by the evening train to Jamalpur. In the evening I went to Baba’s residence for darshan. After Baba’s darshan I accompanied Him on His walk.

On the way I put in my request regarding giving initiation to my boss. Baba said, “His time has not yet arrived”. I kept quiet and informed my boss about it. After some days I again met this officer and he again insisted for diiksa. I told him that when I meet Baba next I shall put in another request on his behalf for initiation. I got an opportunity to meet Baba after some days.

Baba smiled and asked, “Are you insisting again and again because he is your boss?”

I replied, “it is not so. Whenever he meets me like one desirous of knowledge he insists on my requesting You that he may get permission. If I do not convey his feelings to You, my mind feels guilty. Hence, whenever he insists, I convey the same to You”.

Again when I met my boss he persisted in his request. This time it came to his mind that perhaps I was not putting his request forcefully before Baba. I guessed his feelings, but thought it best to keep quiet.

Thereafter when I got an opportunity to meet Baba, I told Baba for his entertainment, “Baba, I am feeling like Trishanku. When I go to my worldly boss, he sends me here with his request and You escape by saying that his time has not yet come.

Thus, I am being sandwiched between the worldly and the spiritual boss”.

Baba laughed heartily at this and said, “Are you keen that he should be initiated as he is your boss?”

I said, “No Baba, his behaviour towards me is like that of relation.” When I was about to leave, I asked again, “Baba, what reply should I give him?”

Baba was extremely kind and smilingly said, “Give him my postal address and let him find me out.” I felt gratified and paid my respects.

As per Baba’s instructions, I informed my boss by letter about Baba’s address.

Some days after receiving my letter, Asthanaji came to Monghyr and called me there for some work.

Towards evening the work was finished, but I could not return and there was no steamer service during the night. Seeing an opportunity, I came to Jamalpur for Baba’s darshan.