Relationships

Relationships, Self-Worth & Positive Meaning

Asker: I’ve been separated for many years.

Bashar: Separated from what?

Asker: My husband.

Bashar: Are you feeling emotional about this?

Asker: Different emotions about it. But I was very content raising my daughter. She was 18 before I went on a date for the first time.

Bashar: Do you want to? Are you sure you really want to? That’s the question.

Asker: Yes it is. Sometimes I really think that’s what I want, but yet I always have my husband like…

Bashar: So you are afraid the same thing might happen again?

Asker: No. What I can’t imagine is my life without him.

Bashar: All right. Well, obviously that’s not completely true, because here you are. You have a life, don’t you?

Asker: I think so.

Bashar: You think so? Who’s the one saying “I think so”?

Asker: I never met her.

Bashar: I see. All right. What I’m simply saying is here you are living a life, so obviously you have a life of your own with which you can do whatever you wish. Now circumstances being what you have created them to be, or co-created them to be, the idea is to recognize that you can still, no matter what has happened, put positive meaning into it, and thus by doing so, get a positive effect from it.

Remember, no situation has built-in meaning. Things don’t automatically mean anything. The greatest gift creation has given to all of you is that life is meaningless—and I don’t mean that in a negative way. Life is meaningless. There is no meaning to anything that happens. You have been given free will so that you have the power to assign whatever meaning you prefer to any situation.

So if you assign a negative meaning to a situation, the only effect you can possibly get out of it is a negative one. But if you assign a positive meaning to the same situation, the only effect you can get out of it is a positive one. The issue is: are you in touch with what kind of meaning you are assigning to the circumstances in your life that then determine how you feel about them?

You see, emotion—how you feel—is a secondary response to a belief or a definition or an assignment of meaning. You cannot physically—you are not physically capable of actually experiencing any emotion at all if you don’t already have a definition first of your relationship to a situation.

So whatever you feel tells you what kind of belief you have about your relationship to the situation. So if you’re feeling bad, uncertain, scared, fearful about a situation, it’s because you have definitions that are causing your energy to be experienced that way. You are assigning negative, fearful definitions to your relationship to that circumstance.

But I guarantee you, as soon as you start assigning positive meaning to the same circumstance, you will only experience positive energy, because the circumstance itself has no power, has no meaning. It’s a neutral prop there for you to assign whatever meaning you desire to it and extract whatever effect you want from it. It has no power of its own.

So if you decide that you are tired of experiencing circumstances in a negative and fearful way, or a non-enjoyable way, you can just as easily decide that the same circumstance is actually in your life to serve you in a positive way. You can start exploring: “Oh, what kind of positive meaning can I give to this same circumstance that would allow me to extract a positive effect from it in my life?”

And you can start getting excited looking for positive meanings to apply to the very same circumstance and turn your life around. And thus then, when you do that, you attract to you those other individuals who will reflect the positive energy you have now decided to give off.

But remember, you cannot attract what you are not the vibration of. It’s not possible. In fact, you can’t even be aware of any opportunity that might lead you to something like that if you’re not on the same wavelength first.

That’s why we say: circumstances do not matter, only your state of being matters. Circumstances do not determine your state of being. Your state of being determines your circumstances. This is simple physics.

So the idea is to allow yourself to understand: be in the state of being you prefer to be in, not because of what is or isn’t happening around you. You are a reality unto yourself, and you can decide: “I’m happy. Why? I don’t need a reason. I’m happy because I enjoy it. This is who I am.”

And by being that state of being, you will then call to you anything else reflective of that state. And if, because we understand you live in a world of polarity, you are still able to interact with other people that may not have exactly the same frequency that you do, should you attract yourself to someone like that, the idea is that if you are in the state of being you prefer to be in, it will make it easier for you to discern whether or not someone else is a harmonious matching state of being or not. It’ll be easier to tell who’s on your wavelength and who’s not if you remain in the state of being of your preference.

But if you allow yourself to create a state of being that is one of confusion, one of self-doubt, one of lack of self-worth, then you will only create the kind of reality that will attract those kinds of reflections, and you will remain confused about what to do.

I will guarantee you 100% that you certainly deserve to attract someone that you can fall in love with and be giddy, head over heels, joyfully in love with. You deserve that. Do you doubt that?

Then why don’t you?

All right. The thing of it is, no belief is more powerful than another belief. They’re all equal in power. So whatever you say you prefer to believe in, that’s what the universe reinforces. No other belief has the ability to come in and contradict you when you say: “This is what I prefer to believe. This is what I prefer to be true about myself.” No other belief, no other power in the universe can contradict that. That’s what it means when your texts say you are made in the image of God. You are a co-creator. What you say in your reality goes.

So why not believe what you prefer to believe, because every belief is valid. It’s up to you to decide which ones you prefer.

Health Of Daughter & Creative Expression

Asker: I thought of one more thing. Health of my middle daughter. Is there anything that she can do? She’s experiencing severe migraine headaches and sinus infections. She’s taking care of her family; her husband’s a severe hemophiliac. She’s under a lot of stress.

Bashar: Absolutely. Is there something she can do that she enjoys that would help reduce the stress in terms of creative expression that she is not giving herself time to do?

Asker: She has no time.

Bashar: She has all the time in the world. She’s in and out of the hospital continually. Understand, she still has time. You know why she has time? Because she creates time, as all of you do. She’s just got to make the time for herself, or take the time for herself, create the time.

The way to create more time, paradoxically, is to live more in the now. Living in the timeless actually creates more time to experience what you prefer. In some senses, thus then, having less time can actually be done in a positive way rather than a negative way. Creating timelessness will actually allow her to experience an eternal moment in which she can get a lot of things for herself done.

Nevertheless, she must give herself an opportunity to do something creative that gives her joy—as a beginning, as a seed. At the same time, as we have already suggested, it might be worthwhile for her to explore the idea herself of using natural, potent, organic herbal formulations and detoxification programs to make sure her system is as clear as it possibly can be, so that the stress will not aggravate whatever toxicity might already be in the body and thus compound it.

One moment. Is there something that she used to do as a child that she loved to do that she hasn’t done for a long time?

Asker: I can’t think of anything.

Bashar: Why don’t you ask her? If there’s something she misses doing as a child, something she did and in the doing of it allowed her to feel carefree. That’s important. Carefree. She needs to revert to that carefree moment now. It doesn’t mean she has to stop caring for others, which she won’t do. But just don’t let her get confused about that idea. Going to a carefree energy doesn’t mean she doesn’t care.

Allow her to recreate a memory of a carefree moment in her childhood. That state of being is where she wants to come from to reduce and eliminate the stress.

Departed Friend

Asker: Do you have any information on Flynn? That was a friend of the family and of my sons and daughters, and he took his own life last year.

Bashar: In what way?

Asker: He hung himself.

Bashar: In what area of your planet?

Asker: California, Frasier Park.

Bashar: One moment. Oddly, we are detecting an awful lot of humor.

Asker: Really? That’s funny.

Bashar: Regardless of what this person may have decided to do in taking their own life, were they capable of actually invoking laughter in others?

Asker: Yes.

Bashar: Could they have gone so far as to actually be what you call a comic on your planet if they had wanted to?

Asker: I don’t know. I wasn’t around him that much. Maybe when he was around my son.

Bashar: The individual has learned in that sense that perhaps—not in a judgmental way—they made a mistake. But the ideas that they have now recognized from the spirit point of view is that certainly wasn’t a path they had to take, and they actually had more options than they thought. But the appearance of lack of options drove him into that particular area.

Nevertheless, it is now recognized that the spirit can learn from that, and the spirit may choose to experience a life where in some of the same scenarios are presented, so it gives that spirit an opportunity to make other choices and actually have a happier life.

All right. One moment. The phrase “in like Flynn” is being sent.

Asker: Okay. That is all. Does that help?

It does. Thank you.

Have you had a dream communication with this person?

No, I haven’t. I have no dreams.

You want one?

No, thanks.

Are you sure?

I’m sure. He can send a dream to my son maybe.

Bashar: Your son’s name?

Asker: Rick.

Bashar: Why to your son and not to you?

Asker: Well, Rick and Flynn were best friends. They hung out together. Flynn’s the guy that had my motorcycle for a year and he was supposed to be fixing it and he was just riding it all over town. So I missed my motorcycle. I still hold that against him.

Bashar: Well, you don’t need to. One moment. I am not allowed to interpret this any farther than what will come out, but you will understand when the time comes. Flynn says: “Merry Christmas.”

Bashar’S Civilization

Asker: Would you tell me about your existence, your world, so to speak, in general?

Bashar: Yes. Our world in our ancient language—we no longer use—is called Sani, place of living light. We are of average about five feet of your height. White, whitish-gray skin coloration. Relatively thin. Very enlarged eyes. The males have no hair; the females have hair, it tends to be white. Our planet is mostly park-like. There are no major cities or built-up structures, although there are a few used for specific purposes. Our spacecraft are our cities for the most part.

We operate totally synchronistically. We are telepathically connected to everyone. We live in one marriage with every being on our planet, even though we are also individuals. We perform acts of creativity and art and constant joy every day, every moment of our lives, and explore the galaxy and the universe with that attitude.

I personally form first contact connection scenarios with various civilizations similar to what I am doing with Earth at this time, in opening up doorways for future contact between our respective civilizations.

We are a hybrid species, and that means that we are actually made up of genetic material from many of you on Earth, and in that sense are thus your children, your ancestors living in another realm, another dimension, who are coming back to speak to our shall we say fathers, mothers. We are your descendants.

You are our ancestors. You are in our ancient language the Anani—those who are before the ancient ones, the ancestors, those who gave us life along with another race of beings that you would call the Grays.

Is there something else specific you wish to know about our civilization?

Asker: Do you procreate?

Bashar: We do, but it is no longer a physiological act. We are evolving toward more and more energy, even though retaining some degree of physicality. Now we simply create an energy field that is dense enough for a soul to take form in if it wishes to belong to our society. It does not happen any longer within the body.

We no longer sleep. We no longer eat. We take energy directly—but we used to.

Asker: Do you blend your energy with another like a male and a female?

Bashar: We can, or any combination thereof, depending upon what themes of exploration those beings have chosen to experience with each other.

Asker: And so there’s no marriage anymore?

Bashar: We are all in one marriage. There has never been a ritual on our planet for that anyway. We have always been telepathically connected. How can you not be in a marriage if you know what everyone is thinking?

Asker: I knew that I’d be a millionaire. So is marriage unique to this planet?

Bashar: No, we just don’t do it the way you do it. It seems to be going out of style on this planet in a sense. Yes, you are also beginning to learn that you really are one family, and thus then any kind of ritualization is really a personal expression and not something that is necessary to create the condition. The condition is simply created in your energy, in your spirit, in your heart, in your soul. It’s a state of being, and you can honor it, formalize it, ritualize it any way you want, but the ritual doesn’t create the state. The state creates the ritual.

It’s up to you. As long as you are in agreement with any other being in any kind of relationship you have, and it is a mutually consenting situation, then do whatever you want. That’s a marriage.

The marriage, like any relationship, serves this purpose: any relationship is for the purpose of each individual—no matter how many in the relationship—to support and allow the other beings in the relationship to become more and more of who they are. That’s what any relationship is for—to help the other being in the relationship become more and more of who they are, as they do the same for you. That’s a true reflection.

It works because that’s how the universe works, because it’s the same idea that the universe is giving to all of us, all of you. It supports you in every way you say you need to be supported to become more and more of who you are.

Awakening to the fact that you are an aspect of creation—becoming more and more of who you are doesn’t actually mean you’re not that you now. It means you remember more and more of who you are. You awaken to more and more of who you already are, not that you’re not that you now on some level.

Father’S Passing

Asker: I wanted to ask you about my father who has crossed over. His name was Richard. I want to know why I was his chosen child to help him cross over the veil. I’m one of seven.

Bashar: Why did you get out of it? What did you learn about yourself in doing that?

Asker: I learned not to be afraid of death, and that death was a beautiful experience.

Bashar: There you go. You made a pact and an agreement to be in that position to learn things that would help you, even as you helped him.

Okay. That makes sense. It’s really obvious if you just let it be. I didn’t know.

All you have to ask yourself in any given situation that you’re in is: “What am I learning about myself in this situation?” And you’ll know exactly why you chose to be there.

Fair enough.

Asker: I’d like to know if you could get a perception of him from the other side or make contact with him for me today.

Bashar: Bicycles or motorcycles. Take a ride on a bike. That’s the message.

Asker: Where will you go if you take a ride on a bike?

Asker: Probably the Strand on the beach.

Bashar: Do so. You may see something in the water that will actually be unusual, and that actually will be a message.

Son’S Struggles & Relationship Advice

Asker: I have a 19-year-old son who’s going through a difficult time, and I’m very concerned about him.

Bashar: Define difficult.

Asker: With our divorce and him himself, he’s had poor health. He’s had weird incidences of health, almost dying twice.

Bashar: What is his passion?

Asker: He doesn’t know. Right now he’s in the same tornado that I’m in.

Bashar: Why don’t you both settle down?

Asker: He won’t let me help him. He won’t talk. He’s afraid of losing his father. He’s just running.

Bashar: Have you asked him specifically what it is he thinks he is going to lose?

Asker: He won’t discuss it with me. He holds everything inside.

Bashar: Who did he learn to do that from?

Asker: His father.

Bashar: I see. So he is in that sense obviously retaining a lot of qualities of his father. You could—whether he answers you or not—ask him if he’s willing to hold on to the qualities of his father that don’t serve him. He doesn’t have to answer you.

One moment. Have you noticed any kind of creative expression from this child in his life?

Asker: He’s very creative. He likes art, design, decorating. He does this well. He likes to do it as a hobby, not as a career. But he doesn’t know what direction he wants to go.

Bashar: Those things are not passionate for him. He doesn’t stay with anything.

Asker: That doesn’t matter. I didn’t ask you that. Just because someone doesn’t stay with something doesn’t mean they’re not passionate about it when they’re doing it.

No, he’s passionate about something when he is doing it.

All right. Do you think you can begin to impart to him—again, whether he answers you or not—the idea that the things he is in fact most passionate about, no matter how little time it may be that he is passionate about it at any given moment, are the things that actually are his truest self, that can support him in life?

Can you share that idea with him in creative ways, without necessarily having to have it take place in a typical conversational manner? Can you be as creative in delivering the information?

Yes.

Give me an example of how you might creatively get that idea across.

Asker: He just did a party at our house and he painted my walls. He took tape and made martinis on them and beer things. I said, “God, Johnny, that’s unbelievable. I didn’t know you could paint so well.” He said, “Yeah, maybe I’ll become an interior decorator.” I said, “That’s a great idea.” And that was as far as we went.

Bashar: That’s all right. Just planted a seed. That’s all right. Sometimes that’s all you can do for the moment—plant the seed. But what I would suggest is that you water the seed any chance you get. Anything that you have noticed is representative of that seed, water it. You might give him a magazine that represents the idea of something that represents his passion, with pictures in it that inspire him. You might just drop him a note that reminds him of how much you enjoyed what he did that day, reinforcing always the seed in a positive way.

Just water the seed a little bit every day. Doesn’t have to be much. You don’t have to hang around for a response. He doesn’t have to say a thing. Just water the seed a little bit every day in some creative way that doesn’t require that you have some kind of big meaningful interaction. See what happens.

Does that help you?

That helps me.

Asker: What do I do with my ex-husband who is trying to really sabotage our relationship?

Bashar: Do you understand what we mean when we said circumstances don’t matter, only your state of being does?

I understand it.

Well, that’s all you need to do. That’s all you need to do. You cannot be responsible for him. You can only be responsible to him by being the best you you can be. Water the seed. That is what will rub off.

You sure? I don’t see it lately.

You don’t see it because you’re not doing it, because you’re not in the state of being yet.

No, I’m actually a very good role model for him, but it’s like he’s an abused child, he’s running.

Water the seed. If you want a direct answer—yes. I’m sure.

Okay. Do you have any degree of belief that he is capable of realizing on his own what’s truly important in his life?

Energetically yes.

I think—don’t say anything more than yes. Then water that seed and do not give power to the other energies that are not the energies of your preference, because only by giving them power would you be in a position to wonder what effect is that going to have, because it will have no effect if you stay in the proper state and water the seed.

You just said a good question. Should I stay in the state? I didn’t want to run away from a situation.

It isn’t necessarily running away if you recognize that there is another location that is actually truly more representative of your preferred vibration. As long as you know you’re not doing it to run away from something you really need to look at, then it’s quite all right to remove yourself from circumstances that are not vibrationally compatible. You just have to make sure why you’re doing it. If you are running from, that’s never a reason to do it, and there will not be a positive result. If you are moving toward, then do it.

I don’t run away from my problems. I walk through the storm.

Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to hold yourself in a circumstance or even a physical location if you recognize that another location is actually truly more harmoniously aligned with your vibratory state of preference.

Do you see a state where I belong?

You tell me. I don’t know. I don’t want to go back again.

Yes you do. Yes you do. You see what you are exhibiting right now is exactly where your son learned to not believe in himself.

But I like it here.

I know you do. But you have just said you don’t.

I don’t know if I can afford to live here anymore, but I’m gonna make millions. Girls, watch.

When we say state, it can actually be the physical location, or it can be the changing of the frequency, because when you change your frequency sufficiently, you’re not actually in the same location anyway. You’re actually in a parallel reality.

So you decide whether it’s just the state of being or actually literally the physical state. If you find yourself passionate about being somewhere else, I would suggest you go there without any expectation for how long you should be there. Sometimes your excitement will attract you in a certain direction not because what it’s attracting you to needs to come to fruition, but only because your excitement needs to get you to move to change your state of being.

So you decide what kind of state you actually want to create and live in.

Final Remarks

Bashar: There will be but a few moments remaining for this transmission. Is there anything else you wish to discuss in the brief time remaining?

Asker: I’d like to ask one quick question. Will I be moving again, and if so, how soon?

Bashar: Do you understand that there is no such thing as a prediction of the future? There is no such thing as a prediction of the future. Anytime someone makes a prediction, they are not predicting the future. They are sensing the energy that exists at the present, and if that energy doesn’t change, then it will come to pass. But if it does change, something else will happen, because there are an infinite number of probable futures.

And when someone asks “will I do this, will I do that,” I will always take you back to: what is your passion? Because you are the determiner of what future you will experience. When you are willing to act in the direction of your joy and passion every moment, you will know exactly where you want to be, where you want to go, what you want to do, and you won’t need to ask someone else as if it’s some sort of mysterious idea, because it isn’t. It will be clear to you when you are clear.